Real Catfight Realities

[rayman89113]

A number of you have asked me questions about conducting, or viewing, real catfights (not fantasies) over the last 60 years and 3 marriages. (See My Wives Fight series.) First, depending on the state, city, county or other jurisdiction, real catfighting as you might envision it may be illegal - especially if there is prize money or participation money given to the participants or wagers involved. Without those added features, it then depends a lot on the type of fight. Pure wrestling is most likely okay, but I am not an attorney, so you might want to get a legal opinion first. The more violent the fight, and likely bodily harm, the less likely this fight is legal.

If I'm refereeing or producing the fight, my wife no longer participates in any form of catfighting at 63, I insist on at least 3 things: (1) all fights start from a kneeling position, (2) all fights use some sort of mitten or glove, and (3) both contestants must sign waivers completely releasing me from whatever happens in the fight acknowledging that the only reasons for this fight are personally their own. (My attorney who looked at my waiver thinks it may not hold up in court and would not write a replacement waiver.)

Unlike what we may read in stories or see in online videos (although there are exceptions), most real catfights are over within minutes, and sometimes within seconds. It is important for the fight to be stopped on the first sign of blood, unconsciousness, if there are suspected broken bone(s), or when one opponent is just so thoroughly dominating that these other eventualities are about to happen. A plan needs to be in place prior to the fight, in case someone is severely injured that needs professional medical attention. The worst injuries I've seen are from grudge fights, which also tend to go on longer as well, with neither party wanting to give up, no matter the injuries.

Where you have the catfight is another concern. Think really poor or really wealthy. I've had catfights staged in mansions but usually the owner is not willing to give consent, although a tenant or "friend" who can disappear when the owner is not there, might let you use the mansion - especially for a price. Having moved to the run-down Daytona Beach area in the last 8 years, we have found a great setup. Rent 3 contiguous rooms in an old single story motel. The middle room is the "fight room" and the rooms on either side are "contestant rooms."

I mentioned the use of gloves or mittens before. I don't prefer the contestants to wear MMA gloves but it seems the women do as this allows them the best opportunities for hairpulling, something which is almost in every catfight. I try to have a rule against "striking", or to allow at most "open hand strikes." The reason I prefer mittens is that it gives just the thumb as an additional weapon but most find that too confining. Gloves for snow wear are okay, but try to stay with the softer outside shell rather than with a ski glove as the material of a ski glove can cut skin easily. Whatever, each woman should be wearing the same hand coverings.

Whoever might have other suggestions for use in real life catfights should post them in the comments. I do know of a couple incidents where people were taken into custody over what we might see as settling a legitimate dispute or something on the sexual fringe. I witnessed my first catfight between two cheerleader classmates at 14 and in a month I will turn 74. In that time, I've had only one close call where the police came out to my house where I hosted the fight, and I'm lucky I didn't get arrested because I violate a lot of the above suggestions - but that was 40 years ago, too!

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